August 11th, 2013
God always told me that my first relationship would be my husband. I have never been in love, or even close to it. When I was in college and high school, I would think to myself, “I’m not going to marry this person, why date them?” But I always felt insecure with my reasoning because everyone around me was dating each weekend and had boyfriends, so it seemed as if you had a disease if you didn’t date. I would always ask God what’s wrong with me, because I never had the urgency or desire to go out on dates. I went out with guys to fit in because everyone was doing it, but I never had peace about it. While I was busy trying to fit into the world – what I didn’t realize was that God had set me a part for a reason.
“Do not copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.” – Romans 12:2
It wasn’t until I started to read the Bible for myself, and started comparing my life to the people in the Bible, was when I realized that God had a protection over my life. I didn’t have to go out with a guy fall in love, have it end horribly, and have my heart broken just to know that they weren’t right for me. Its fine to be single, in fact Paul said he wished everyone was single, just as he was, therefore you could devout your entire time to please God.
Nothing was wrong with me. I was normal. My contentment was a gift from God.
I am so happy that I didn’t get married when I was in high school or college, or even a few years ago, because the guys that I were interested in where not even near the potential to who God has for me. What I realized was the type of guys that I were attracted to mirrored my relationship with Christ. God knew I wasn’t ready. The timing wasn’t right. Before, it was as long as a guy treated me nice, was polite, funny, made me smile — he didn’t necessarily have to be a Christian. That’s how I was.. But that’s all surface stuff. There is a purpose in marriage. It’s a ministry and God says very clearly in His Word, “Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers.”
Now, if God isn’t first place in your life and you are not saved for real – I don’t care if you have a six-pack, six cars, or six figures – Ain’t nobody got time for that! That stuff is just temporal — Do you know Jesus?! I want someone who leads my house with authority from the Lord, loves me like He loves Christ, who hears from God and is not afraid to live out the God ordained calling He has on his life.
But, honestly, I don’t care if I ever get married. I am so content with where I am now. And it’s nothing that I did to get this way, its just the love & peace that I already have in Christ. Me being single and just spending time with my Jesus is all right with me. Being in relationship with Him has taken me to NYC, Dubai, and now Cape Town. Life with Jesus is a dream. He is my comforter, provider, King, and best friend. But since He said that I would one day be married, I am using this time now to prepare myself to be the best helpmeet I can be. Which is what serving, spending time with God, and developing in the fruits of the spirit is. I will never get this quality time back. I know when I am married, I am going to have many responsibilities that will divide my time with my wifely duties and quiet time with Jesus.
So, now what? Being single isn’t the time to pity yourself or others. It’s not a curse. Rejoice because you have that much more time to grow, learn, spend time with God, and truly fall in love with Him. For if you don’t have time do any of that to build your foundation, what makes God want to bring someone else in the equation that will take up all your attention. He is a jealous God and He loves you so much. So, continue in your purpose, build healthy relationships with others, renew your mind, and then at the perfect time He will bring your spouse then marriage to be.
“To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven.” – Ecclesiates 3:1